Screw the summer joie de vivre. Festival season is nearly over, Britain once again won sweet F.A. in sports and to top it all off the weather is going to shit faster a Senator Clay Davis scene from The Wire . Accordingly we felt the distinct need to reacquaint ourselves with our grumpy sides and taking inspiration from Cee-Lo’s excellently executed ‘Fuck You’, we’ve scoured The Counterfit memory bank for the best instances of swearing in our favourite tracks.

Before we go on though, a few words on what makes a great swear. Firstly to succeed, swearing must not be the distinct goal of a song but rather the best means by which an artist can articulate themselves. Hence the innate, for lack of a better word, crappiness of ‘If You Seek Amy’ and those of the “shock pop” ilk who seek attention for using a naughty word on a piss-poor tune.

Secondly, some imagination has to be used in the employment of the swear. Never follow the example set forth in Kate Nash’s ‘Birds’, where the riot grrrl/mockney rocker stoops to simply listing the bodily functions of her favourite animal, “birds can fly so high and they can shit on your head”.

Finally and of upmost importance, is the need to sing it like you mean it. Now that you’ve decided toss off one of the most polarising words in the English Dictionary make sure to bare your soul when telling the world you’re pissed off. As with ‘Killing In The Name Of’, Zack De La Rocha puts the “fuck you” in “I won’t do what you tell me” by concentrating all his anarchist angst into that glorious middle fingered kiss off.

The following tracks check all the above boxes and whole shitload more…

“Fuck Em’”: I Get Along – The Libertines

Swearing is a quintessentially British thing to do. To bottle up one’s emotions until you require to release them in the most devastating way possible comes naturally to a set of nations as repressed as ours. No wonder such language was second nature to The Libertines, a band who had a self-destruct code hardwired into their DNA. ‘What A Waster’ often steals the headlines with it’s “two bob cunt” chorus but Carl Barat’s “fuck em’” from ‘I Get Along” gets our nod by virtue of deftly understated nature.

“Fuck Tha Police”: Fuck Tha Police – N.W.A.

Exactly the kid of incendiary statement you’d expect from a band entitled Niggers With Attitude. Still on ‘Fuck Tha Police’ Icecube et al. had a fair grudge to bear given the endemic racism and violence within the Los Angeles police department during the late 1980s. Following the Rodney King incident such deep seated resentments among the African American community eventually boiled over into the 1992 Los Angeles riots thereby handing the hip-hop collective a depressingly prescient credibility.

“I don’t need their fucking shit! / Hope I die because of it…” My Generation – Patti Smith

The Counterfit doesn’t know what it’s like to be possessed by a demon born from hellfire but we imagine from the cut of Patti Smith’s schizophrenic jib on her version of ‘My Generation’ that she may well do. Vitriol never sounded more demonic then when spraying forth from the punk icon’s mouth.

“I’m not O-fucking-kay!”: I’m Not Okay (I Promise) – My Chemical Romance

One of the great bugbears with great swears in music is that they often get replaced out in the radio edit with something for more serviceable for the listeners of Heart FM. ‘I’m Not Okay’s radio edit is a great example of this general trend, as just at the point where Gerard Way is practically frothing at the mouth with self-loathing, his disarmingly to the point perception that “I’m not o-fucking-kay” is replaced with the infinitely more lame “I’m really not okay”. Still when you’re MCR, any cause to feel aggrieved can be turned into psychotic chart gold quicker than you can ask “What actually happened to Panic At The Disco?”

“And all you other cats throwin shots at Jigga / You only get half a bar – fuck y’all niggaz”: The Takeover – Jay-Z

A song taken from Hova’s seminal LP The Blueprint, an album which was recorded in 2001 during a period in where Jay was battling off critics from every side. With two criminal trials pending for gun possession and assault pending plus two major beefs in the offing mired with Nas and Prodigy of Mobb Deep, the prospects weren’t looking particularly rosy. On ‘The Takeover’ however, the man Beyoncé knows as Sean Combs delivered a verbal lashing to his two hip-hop rivals whilst leaving the best until last with the above sign aimed at anyone else who felt like taking a cheap shot.

Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia, USA

Sounds Like: Marvin Gaye, Outkast, Gnarls Barkley

Release Date: 20 August 1010

Swearing is an art! Okay so maybe tossing off a quick “twat” doesn’t rank on the same par as the Sistine Chapel but when one delivers a wittily offensive riposte the sense of deep satisfaction is almost comparable.

Of course of all the sweary phrases in the English vocabulary though, “fuck you” reigns supreme. The Counterfit’s favourite ever use of that particular expletive is by John Gielgud in the 1981 comedy Arthur, “Well, sir, I wouldn’t really know, but on the other hand go fuck yourself”.

On ‘Fuck You’ then, Cee-Lo does well to to revive a (noble) tradition with a wonderful soul croon and scorned swagger. To simply summarize this song’s plot, the Gnarls Barkley singer has seen the girl he loves with another man and he’s piiiiiised.

Fuck You – Cee-Lo by YowPower

Sounds Like: Bob Dylan, The Beatles, Roy Orbison, Tom Petty [insert random band member here]

Released: September 1988

If you’re not familiar with the supergroup-esque body that is The Traveling Wilburys then allow me to pass on the synopsis duties to Mr Miscellaneous YouTube commenter who aptly describes them as “Probably the greatest collection of the nicest guys of Rock-n-Roll history”.

A quick trawl through the group’s Wikipedia page reveals a shockingly well-endowed members list that is less fading-stars-with-session-players and more a roll call of 60s and 70s legends who, on the evidence provided in their first single, don’t appear to have lost their touch one bit.

With Orbison’s untimely death three months later however the remaining band members couldn’t justify dragging out the project for longer than was needed, with the band officially wrapping things up in 1990. Nevertheless there’s still joy to be taken out of what is undoubtedly their best song and the horrendously appealing clash of Dylan’s gravelly vocals and Orbison’s well executed verses.

Long time readers of The Counterfit will know that we have a massive W logo in the place where our heart should reside. If the recent news that the geek-rock four piece are planning a Blue Album/Pinkerton tour wasn’t enough to send us into fanboy overdrive though, the band’s first UK appearance in five long years which will occur at Reading festival this weekend certainly has done the trick. In the highly probably case you’re not as obsessed with the Weez as we are however, we’ve put together a 15 track Spotify playlist containing all their best moments to date.

Blast Off!

Pork And Beans

I’m Your Daddy

Dope Nose

Island In The Sun

The Good Life

Keep Fishin’

No One Else

Hash Pipe

Pink Triangle

Can’t Stop Partying

Buddy Holly

Falling For You

Only In Dreams

The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)

[Listen Here]